This Week In Headlines

FRIDAY OCTOBER 20, 2006

So after another week in hip hop and the succesful launch of this here magazine, what have we learned? Who’s doing what? who’s doing who?..why? Welp, lets get started shall we:

On monday:
Ali of the St Lunatics spoke out about getting his ass lit up by the friendly cops over in the STL.He said they tased him 46 times!

What did he learn?
...Probably not to drive with an expire liscense anymore.
What did we learn?
Who ali of the St Lunatics is.

-Snoop Dogg Premieres Hood of Horror

Rapper, “actor”, and weed smoker, Snoop Dogg debuts his brand new movie “Snoop doggs Hood of Horror” Which is a compilation of 3 really scary stories from “the hood”.

What did he learn?
He can shit out a log, put his name on it, and sell it without a problem.
What did we learn?
He shit out a log, RECORDEd it, put his name on it, and is selling it.
Just A thought:
2 words…soul plane.

-Eminem was being investigated for domestic violences after poking his niece in the head with his finger and threatning to kill her.

What did he learn?
Next time break her fingers so she can’t call the cops.

What did we learn?
Eminem beats his kids?..i don’t know if thats news.

Just A thought:
Why didn’t eminem just get haley to beat her ass for him thunderdome style!

On Wednesday:

Black Thought of The Roots Unhappy with Def Jam. Apparently Black thought doesn’t like the direction the company’s going after Mr. Carter became El Presidente.

What did he learn?
To shut the fuck up, he aint president.

What did we learn?
No one likes Jay Z cause he looks like Joe Camel.
Just A thought:

Is everyone hating on Jay cause he’s president or cause he’s banging Beyonce?...

-Diddy dresses up as a boxer for vibe photoshoot

Pics of Diddy’s up coming Vibe photoshoot surface. He’s posing as a boxer knocking some unknown nobody out.

What did he learn?
Boxing gloves damage manicures.
What did we learn?
Diddy likes to get oiled up with other fellas.
Just a thought:
A boxer knocking someone out, that sure is subtle.

On thursday:

-Alicia Keys Gets arrested for domestic violence and lesbian photos surface.

What did she learn?
The next time she punches her girlfriend, she should use a sack of oranges instead..no bruises and you can make juice afterwards to quench the thirst you built up beating the crap out the ho.
What did we learn?
ALICIA KEYS IS A LESBIAN!
Just a thought:
God damn she looks hot getting arrested.

-Games tells Jay Z to Back down. Getting a bit over his head, game tells Jay to push back the release of his album because his is so much better.

What did he learn?
nothing yet…well besides to not fuck with G-unit.
What did we learn?
This dude does NOT shut the fuck up.
Just a thought:
WHY DOESN’T HE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!

-Andre 3000 Endorses Children with Gun. Andre stirred some controversy after telling a magazine that he’d like to buy a gun for his 9 year old kid. *

*What did he learn?
You can’t buy him a gun without a trench coat to go along stupid.
What did we learn?
A nigga in a skirt is dangerous!
Just a thought:
What could possibly be going on in the suburbs that andre needs to buy his kid a gun?